Welcome back to The Brokerbabble Glossary, where Curbed takes a word or phrase that shows up repeatedly in listings and deciphers its true meaning. Ideas? Hit up the tipline.
[10902 Carvel Ln, Houston, via Trulia]
When the word "functional" is used in real estate listings, nine times out of then it's describing a floorplan, and it's never entirely clear what that means. What is a "functional floorplan?" Is it, for instance, a series of rooms that serve different purposes all connected with hallways? Because that just sounds like every house. What would be really interesting would be a nonfunctional floorplan. "Second bedroom located on the roof, accessible via climbing up chimney. Kitchen a short drive away in a swamp. Great original detailing!"
[10703 Hermosa Dr, Dallas, via Trulia]
One would hope that this goes without saying, but—oh, God, were those just show toilets in all the other listings?
[725 N 28th Place, Phoenix, via Trulia]
Don't sell this pool short. Haven't you seen Lords of Dogtown?
[16219 Rodale Dr, Houston, via Trulia]