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Location: Hickory Creek, Texas
The Skinny: The long, winding tale of Champ d'Or—the Texas megamansion that has been redefining "gauche" since 2002—took another tortuous turn this week, when the troubled home hit the market less than two years after being sold at auction. The 36,000-square-foot chateau, which was the brainchild of Dallas cell phone magnate Alan Goldfield and his wife, Shirley, took four years, $46M, and an inexhaustible supply of unerring bad taste (see as reference: $5M Chanel-themed closet) to build. When the Pharoanic construction was finally complete, the couple took a good hard look at what they had wrought and promptly put the place on the market for $75M. There it sat for a decade, suffering PriceChop after PriceChop, before distressed luxury property specialists Concierge Auctions finally unloaded the manse for an undisclosed sum from an undisclosed buyer with "international ties", whatever that means. That mysterious buyer has now listed what the brokerbabble hilariously dubs "Texas [sic] biggest and best masterpiece" for $35M, which will get you "everything even the pickiest buyer has been looking for" except, apparently, a home that anyone would actually want to live in. Still, if it fails at being a livable home (and it does!), as a monument to the giddy tackiness of the pre-recession aughts the Champ d'Or is nonpareil.
- Hickory Creek, Texas